Fred Wise

I've known Fred for many years. . .he was a good friend .. .and he would give you the shirt off his back.....we worked together at The Ketchikan Mental Health Center . . . . I was his supervisor  and he was mine . . . .he was caring and went  "the extra mile" with the people he saw and worked with.  Everyone in our family looked forward to Fred's visits . . .  Fred had a wide range of affect. . he was sentimental. . . tender. . . speaking softly . . .and then could shift in a flash yelliing to make a point. . . . and then laugh. .
he had strong opinions. . . .he cared. . . . . Near as I can tell, Fred never met a gadget that he didn't like. . . .there was no huge Swiss army knife that could possibly contain them all and he brought new gadgets to the river every year . . . . he was an intrepid angler . . . .with lots of equipment. . . .and a quick study as to how to catch fish. . . .he loved the river and the fish that swam in it . . . .I must say that I never met anyone quite like him. . . . . we will miss him so. . . .  . .
 
Don  

My pal Freddie died, a couple weeks ago now, and I still can't believe I'll never see him again......

Fred was a complex guy, by all accounts.  On the face of it he was irascible, sarcastic, skeptical...a self-proclaimed smart-ass and cynic...and to that end he defended himself against Big Brother with firewalls and passwords and secret passageways to whoinhellknowswhere that would baffle the CIA if they ever had been interested in him, which I doubt.

Fred was remarkably smart; he was so understated about his intellect, and so self-effacing about his talent that it wasn't until he was 10 minutes into one of his rants that you realized "this dude knows of what he speaks"...he was one of the first search engine addicts, forever looking up data, or finding obscure facts about dietary supplements, psychology topics, or fishing lures.

And of fishing, Fred had more natural talent with a rod and reel than any three guys....he only fished a few days a year, yet he consistently caught the most fish....I watched him sitting on the bank of the Karta river one year watching our Steelhead mentor, Don...I asked Freddie what he was doing and he said "I'm watching his hands; see how he works the bait?"  Noticing little things, and using that information....again.....and again....

He was a true friend, generous in many ways, big and small, consistently looking for ways to give something to others......Sitting on the bank of the river, eating the soup Freddie always brought, drinking a beer or three, and telling stories and jokes envelope so many memories of Fred.  He always talked in a concerned and loving way about his kids, Morgan and Hayden, and his wife Diane.  Even when expressing worries, Fred spoke with compassion. No matter what he said, he was sincere and present; he spoke from his heart about what mattered to him, and he was totally without pretense, rare in our world, and in our profession....and in spite of all the lousy things that happened to Fred (those who knew him well understand that!) he never expressed bitterness or resentment; he didn't hold grudges, it wasn't in his nature....Fred's heart was kind and thoughtful...sometimes in ways that not everyone could see......

But his laugh will linger most.......and maybe haunt me.....in Alaska and Mexico and Montana, just hangin' out, Fred had the kind of contagious laugh that warmed hearts.....he found humor everywhere, and while he was alive, I had more Freddie-induced laughter tears than I can count....our last year on the river together we sat on the bank waiting for our fishing buddies to 'git on down the trail'....Freddie says "You know, after all these other guys have given it up or died, you and I will still be comin' here together."  

Well, not physically, Fred...... but there will never be a day on the river that you won't be there in my heart......I loved you like a brother and I miss you so much....my life is better for having you there......

your pal,

jay 

I can say with absolute certainty that I will miss Fred every day for the rest of my life.  He wasn't just my boss -- he was a cherished friend, a surrogate father, and the most important mentor I have ever had -- deeply ethical, kind, thoughtful, generous, and encouraging.  I started working for Fred during a very difficult time in my life, and I don't know that I would have gotten through it if I hadn't always been so apparent that I would have a place there as long as I needed one.  And there is absolutely no way I would be working toward a Ph. D. in psychology myself if it weren't for Fred -- I told him years ago that I wanted to do this and he did absolutely everything he could to see it happen.  (I believe his actual words when I asked him whether he thought I could do this -- with his characteristic humility -- were "Well, you're smarter than me, and I did it!").  I'm certain that his reference got me into school . . . there is some comfort in knowing that if I am ever able to help anyone, it will be in large part because of Fred.  I think that would have made him happy.  The last weeks have been filled with shock and loss and terrible, terrible sadness for Diane, Morgan, and Hayden.  The world has lost one of the great ones and none of us will be the same for it.  I hope he is fishing somewhere, and that I will see him again someday.

Fred's death leaves a huge hole in many of our hearts, and Diane, Morgan, and Hayden should know just how special he was and how much he loved them. Fred was a gem. He was never impressed by glitter, and never concerned himself with political correctness.  I feel honored by and grateful for the years of his friendship.

I have been walking around this week in a state of shock.  Though I typically only saw Fred at conferences, except for a few times when he was in LA or I was in Seattle, I always thought of him as a great friend.  Every occasion together I can only remember as being a great time.  In a group he was always an active particiapte in fun discussions but he really shined when we were one on one.  His sense of humor and approach to life was always an inspiration to me.  

Yes, Orlando was a fun time, performing water ballet at midnight but how can one forget New Orleans and Fred in lipstick.  My fondest memories are with Fred in Hawaii boogie boarding together and the late night discussions over drinks solving the problems of the world.  Fred's love of the ocean and Hawaii fit nicely with mine and we both loved how it made us feel at ease.  On the day he died he had emailed about setting up a trip to Hawaii so he would have something to look forward to during a busy work time.  We were talking about getting together over there this year and were really going to make it happen.  I am so sorry that it will now never happen.  The lesson is not lost on me, that you have to live your life as if there is no tomorrow, since  nothing is promised to anyone.  Diane, any time you and your family want to use our place in Maui, you are always welcome.  Fred had told me one of the things he really loved about being there with you is it reminded him how much he loved, and even liked, spending time with you.

I emailed him last week about why he wasn't at INS in Montreal and Fred let me know he was playing the role of the dedicated professional and counldn't make it this year due to court commitments but as always was quick with the joke and let me know that I could always count on him for bail money.  Luckily I didn't need it. 

To Fred's family I offer my deepest condolences.  He was a special person and will always be remembered.  If there is anything any one of you ever need please contact me.

Roger Light 

The thought of Fred ALWAYS brought a smile to my face, the world is better because he was in it. I saw Fred only at INS, and it was never enough time. At first, it was the outrageous partying (yes, Russ, it was a chaise lounge at the bottom of the pool), but quickly it became the truly good, bright, honest soul under the craziness. As the years passed, we shared experiences, feelings, relationship advice (Diane, you were praised in so many ways!) and our greatest joy, stories about our kids. Fred's eyes always lit up when talking about Morgan and Hayden, his pride and love were incredibly apparent and heartwarming. Also, Fred had the best stories about murderers I've ever heard, which he delivered with a straight face and a bit of a "takes one to know one" attitude. I could listen for hours, and did whenever I got the chance. Fred influenced my life, thoughts and feelings to an extent that was far out of proportion to the actual hours I spent with him. Diane, Morgan and Hayden, I feel close to you because of Fred's stories about and feelings for you. I wish you the comfort of knowing you were much loved. I feel privileged to have known Fred and I'll always remember how his amazing spirit enriched my life.

My sincere condolences to Fred's family and all who loved him. He was selfless in providing personal and professional help to many of us. Some of the fondest memory replays of my life involve Fred and the other founding fathers of the Limbic Discharge Study Section of INS. I'll miss him and I cannot imagine who I'd be without representations of Fred within my skull. Fred had a large soul and it extends through us all. 

From Douglas Hofstadter's I Am a Strange Loop, Ch 18, The Blurry Glow of Human Identity:

"In the wake of a human being's death, what survives is a set of afterglows, some brighter and some dimmer, in the collective brains of all those who were dearest to them. And when those people in turn pass on, the afterglow becomes extremely faint. And when that outer layer in turn passes into oblivion, then the afterglow is feebler still, and after a while there is nothing left. 

This slow process of extinction I've just described, though gloomy, is a little less gloomy than the standard view. Because bodily death is so clear, so sharp, and so dramatic,... death strikes us as instantaneous and absolute, as sharp as a guillotine blade. Our instinct is to believe that the light has all at once gone out altogether. I suggest that this is not the case for human souls, because the essence of a human being...is distributed over many a brain. It takes a couple of generations for a soul to subside, for the flickering to cease, for all the embers to burn out. Although "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" may in the end be true, the transition it describes is not so sharp as we tend to think.

It seems to me, therefore, that the instinctive,although seldom articulated purpose of holding a funeral or memorial service is to reunite the people most intimate with the deceased, and to collectively rekindle in them all, for one last time, the special living flame that represents the essence of the beloved person. profiting directly or indirectly from the presence of one another, feeling the shared presence of that person in the brains that remain, and thus solidifying to the maximal extent possible those secondary personal gemmae that remain aflicker in all these different brains. Though the primary brain has been eclipsed, there is, in those who remain and who are gathered to remember and reactivate the spirit of the departed, a collective corona that still glows. This is what human love means. The word "love" cannot, thus, be separated from the word "I"; the more deeply rooted the symbol for someone inside you, the greater the love, the brighter the light that remains behind."

Fred was a mentor to me in the court system.  I appreciated his sense of humor and wisdom (Dr. Wise!) 
He was a pillar of our community and protected our most vulnerable.  I loved Fred.

Sincerely,

Richard Thomas

I have known Fred for about 25 years and have fond memories of conversations and fun times at INS and other conferences.  He was, to me, a gentle, fun-loving spirit who always made me feel good by his kindness and interest in my experiences.  Sharing simple moments in his comments and observations, and his ability to say things that were at once profound and absurd was his indelible trademark.  I especially remember INS in Orlando when we spent some seriously fun time - I have a faint recollection of a chaise lounge at the bottom of a swimming pool, but can't be sure.  He had one of the most brilliant senses of humor I have ever witnessed.  And, he was one of the brightest bulbs in the box.  I will miss him but am thankful for having known him.  My thoughts and prayers go out to his family.

Rus

I only knew Fred through our attendance at different neuropsychological conferences over the years, probably about 25 years or so. The time we spent interacting was rather brief and usually devoted towards fun activities (with Paul Craig almost always included). Thus, my memories of the times spent with Fred are nothing but fun times!! I didn't really know much about his personal life, his family, etc. But, what I could tell from our brief times together was that he was someone who enjoyed life, had a great sense of humor, he was personable, cared for others, and clearly loved his family and friends. I can't even begin to imagine the feelings of loss felt by his family and close friends. I will miss his smiling face at any future conferences and will always remember his wonderful spirit.
Bob